Peshawar Ki Kahani-Meri Zubani

I almost gave up on writing about my trip to Peshawar. Twice.

First: After what transpired during my trip, I was keen on just sharing the following:

“What happens in Peshawar, Stays in Peshawar”.

However, certain misguided interpretations of such a comment had me second guessing that particular line of action.

Second: Sharing my culinary escapade didn’t sit right after what happened on the sixteenth of December, 2014-a mere three weeks after my first trip (but hopefully not the last) to the city.

But then, the terrorists would win. So here goes:

I spent a considerable time researching where to tour in Punjab (besides ISB and LHR) during the first week of the upcoming trip. This eventually led me to the Daewoo Bus Service to figure out routes and rates. It is here where I discovered (to my pleasant surprise) that Peshawar was only a two hour drive from Islamabad. A day trip was totally doable. The lure was apologetically simple. Peshawar is the home of the Chapli Kabab.

I love Chapli Kababs.

I would be only 2 hours from the mecca of Chapli Kababs.

No Brainer.

I asked my uber-talented ISB-based cousin if he was familiar with the area and if he would kindly drive me? I half expected a tongue lashing but it was a ‘Yes’ on both counts.

Peshawar was on (despite the protestations of my wife, my mother-in-law and other acquaintances who thought I was nuts).

Source: A look at Namakmandi-Home of the Charsi Tikka

During this time and the actual trip to Peshawar, I had learned that besides Chapli Kababs, Peshawar was also known for its Namakmandi and home to ‘Khayber Charsi Tikka’ an uber-famous 40 year old food joint known for its delicious mutton karahi’s. And perhaps for that ‘unique’ name. Charsi can loosely be translated to “someone who consumes Cannabis on a regular basis’. The story goes that the current owners father was a pothead. Some folks will tell you that the amazing taste comes from certain “off the book” ingredients. Take your pick.

Here’s one of the articles I came across during my research phase. Was I excited? Yes. Was a wee bit concerned about how I was going to stuff both kababs and karahi in a matter of hours? Hell, Yes!

I kept repeating:

Himmat-e-Mardaan. Maded-e-Khuda.

So with that context at your fingertips, here’s how the Qissa (story) unfolded:

On the third day of my trip to the motherland, I had a light breakfast in anticipation of the feast ahead.

I had packed a shalwar kameez (that I typically don’t wear) to blend in. That’s when I got the tongue lashing from my cousin.

“Freedom means being comfortable wearing whatever you want (within reason of course), wherever you want”. I’m going in a suit dawg”.

In his defense, he had a meeting arranged with a govt. official towards the tail end of the trip, so a suit made sense. I put on some Levi’s.

My phupa is an avid juicer and was blown away when I told him about this technique of de-seeding a pomegranate that went viral on Youtube earlier during the year. He had try it right then. I ended up receiving the fruit (no pun intended) of that exercise. He also bought and fed me some Pakistani Guava (God bless that man). Just like Mangoes, you don’t know what you are missing if you haven’t tried the Pakistani variety. But I digress.

With healthy Pomegranate juice in my system (to counter the greasy food to come later), I set off with my cousin and his driver on the motorway. It was my first time on the highway and I was kinda blown away.

This ain’t too different from the NJ Turnpike. Minus the EZ Pass.

Two hours later, when we paid the toll at the Peshawar Toll Plaza and entered the city, it seemed like a typical traffic congested metropolis.

The city was littered with billboards–hundreds of them. However, what stood out was that most of the billboards depicted female models. It seemed that Peshawar was more laden with female billboards than KHI and LHR combined. Not what I had expected. You know what I didn’t see? A single gun or rifle. Odd right? Apparently, Peshawar is not swarming with ammunition toting, shalwar kameez wearing, bad guys, which is the common perception. The Peshawar I saw (albeit from the car) boasted of the magnificent Bala Hissar Fort and the grand Islamia College (one of the oldest educational institutions in Pakistan). Did you know that Quaid-e-Millat Mr. Jinnah donated a portion of his will to the college? Mega cool.

Islamia College’s facade Gives Princeton U. a run for its money. Source: Pukhtoogle

One of many billboards depicting a fashionable model

We had a local friend of my cousin join us in the city and he guided us to the Charsi Tikka shop. The two hour drive had adequately whet my appetite and I was ready to dive in to some hot naans and karahi. But wait, what did this waiter dude just say in Pashtu? Luckily our local guy was with us to translate, although I wish I could un-hear it at the time.

“Sir, today is meatless Tuesday”.

The KPK govt. in an effort to conserve the welfare (and quantity?) of animals doesn’t allow meat consumption on Tuesdays.

I was in so much shock, dismay and denial, that I didn’t take any photos of the establishment. What was the point?

An empty karahi not only leaves you unfulfilled, it also doesn’t get you any ‘Likes’ either.

But, I’ve got you covered. Just because I didn’t take any photos, doesn’t mean photos don’t exist. They exist aplenty. Here’s a front view picture of Charsi Tikka taken by brother Waseem Shahbaaz in 2011. The board now is white, with its trademark dumba (fat-tailed sheep).

With karahi out of the way (quite literally), things didn’t look good on the chapli kabab front either. Our local guide told us that one of the most famous kabab shops was not too far away and that we might as well check it out.

I didn’t argue but I had a sinking feeling this was not going to end well.

However, Jalil’s was indeed open for business and were making kababs!

Wait, back up. How were they making kababs on a meatless Tuesday you ask?

Because they were making Chicken Chapli Kababs…

Apparently, Peshawari’s don’t consider chicken as meat.

But I still did.

Yes, it was a major disappointment not having beef, but those chicken kababs looked mighty delish.

So we ordered a couple of plates and dug in.

Needless to say, they were the best chicken Chapli Kababs I had in my life.

With our tummies full, we took an unintentional 45 min tour of the city on our way to the Directorate of Elementary and Secondary Education KPK for a meeting my cousin had arranged beforehand. Mind you, the distance between the two points was a mere 3Km, but traffic was horrendous.

In fact, we lost so much time in traffic that I didn’t get to visit Qissa Khwani Bazaar before heading back to Islamabad. Legend has it that Kanishka merchants (dating back 127 AD) used to stay at Inns within the bazaar and in the evenings, while sitting around a fire and sipping Qahwa, would share/tell stories.

I guess thats a “Qissa” for another day (as long as its not a Tuesday).

Originally published at khashmi.wordpress.com on January 28, 2015.